Monday, 14 May 2012

Blissful Gift

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, Most Merciful.

Alhamdulillah, we are given one more day from The Almighty to live. As for me, to complete this post. InsyaAllah..

What will others ask you when you've married? As for Malay culture, we are used to these kind of questions :-
  • Dah berisi ke?
  • Belum ada ape-ape lagi ke? 
  • Korang merancang ke?
  • Akak ade kenal satu makcik urut ni, bagus betul..memang mujarab kalau nak dapatkan baby..
 My goodness, this is what I face during the early days of my marriage. Not so early I guess. Hehe.. Yes, we have been married for 2 years and during that time, we were still waiting and working hard to have a baby.

As for us (my husband and me),  we had lived separately for quite a time. He has been working in Terengganu while I'm in Malacca..This is what they call PJJ couple. (Pasangan Perkahwinan Jarak Jauh) Yes, I admitted it's quite far and this was why we had some difficulties! (Can't they just understand that??)

Apart from my emotion distractions, I also faced some nosy colleagues that will keep on asking me on that issue. Trying very hard to hide my expression, I managed to answer them politely with a fake smile on my annoyed face. (Although it's tough!)

Alhamdulillah, with God's will, I have managed to get the transfer to Terengganu, which is nearer to my husband's working place. God knows how relief I am! Pheeewww..
So now we are officially experience a normal husband and wife life.

Time flies and it has been almost a year when I've got the transfer. The school, the colleagues, the students are great and I enjoyed being a teacher in my new working environment. The air is fresh and cool, the surroundings is so serene and calming. Everything seems so perfect in the eye. But still I have not conceive yet. I furthered this issue to my husband quite a few times, but this is his answer ,

" Sabarlah, mungkin belum rezeki kita, Allah tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita. Yang penting kita kena sentiasa berdoa kepadaNya "

How I wish I could be as patient as he is. Well, I never knew what's running in his mind. He might hurt as I am, but somehow he managed to overcome the situation.

That day ( I hardly remember, but it's somewhere in July-August 2011), I noticed some blood spotting on my undergarment. It gave me a terrible shock as I quite sure it's not my normal regular period. It's something else. All those negative thoughts have been flying in my mind and it's depressing. Giving a quick call to my husband, he told me to head to the nearest clinic. (My husband's working place is quite far from my school quarters, that's why he couldn't get me accompanied ). 

After getting the permission from the principal, I drove slowly ( just in case, it might be harmful to drive in fast pace in this situation) to the nearest clinic in Pekan Kuala Berang. Getting the number ticket from the staff, I waited patiently (not so.. I guess) at the waiting sofa provided in the clinic. My heart was pounding rapidly and my mind can hardly focus on anything at that time. I was just too worried.

Few minutes later, my number was called and I got inside the doctor's room. After a few Q&A session with the female doctor, I was told to get my urine sample for further examining. I've never felt so nervous like this and I've been sweating all over. Prayers and duas to The Almighty and hope it's going to be just fine.

After quite some time, the doctor with a soft smile on her face finally said,
"Puan, urine pregnancy test awak positive. Ikut perkiraan awak mungkin dah 8 minggu pregnant, lebih kurang 2 bulan. Tapi bleeding ni kadang-kadang boleh menyebabkan keguguran. Apa yang saya sarankan puan kena banyakkan berehat dan jangan banyak bergerak. Berdoalah banyak-banyak."

There it goes. I'm 8 weeks pregnant with a slight risk in the pregnancy due to the bleeding factor. Should I be grinning or should I cry? It's a big question. I can hardly find an answer for that.

I rang my husband right after I got inside the car. Told him everything with tears running on my cheeks. Once again his quote entered my ears :-

" Sabarlah, kita banyakkan berdoa. Kalau memang rezeki kita, InsyaAllah. Yang penting kita kena banyak berdoa. Lepas ni Fa kena banyak berehat dan jangan buat kerja yang berat-berat."

Okay, I've heard this all the time. Sabar. Sabar. Sabar. Yes, all this while I've been patient. Trying very hard to do so. ( I'm a quite temperamental person. Heee~). Yes, he has the point. Allah knows best.

For the following month, I've been very careful of myself. Of course, the school routines were needed to be done, but I tried to cut short when it comes to house chores. My husband have been very kind to help me here and there wherever he's free. Well, we've been waiting for this for the past 2 years and we definitely won't want to be devastated.

Time goes by and the blood spots were still there. The doctor has prescribed me with some medication - Duphaston ( it's a type of white tiny pills that helps to strengthen the womb) and Folic Acid ( a type of supplement that helps in general health, very recommended for the expecting moms). It was indeed a nightmare for me to experience this. It could be a 50-50 chance. Blood spotting maybe harmful in the early stage of pregnancy. It's called threatened miscarriage / threatened abortion.
Here's the link of the overview

Prayers to Allah the Almighty, He's the Greatest. I believe in His destiny.  Every second I've never stop praying that it's going to be fine and this pregnancy can be survived. Although I'm not so sure about that.

Woke up that morning and went to the washroom, I noticed that it finally disappear! Yes, the blood spots has gone! It put a smile on my face but I wouldn't want to get so excited so we went to a maternity clinic in Kuala Terengganu, Pusat Perubatan Intan, to get the confirmation.

The kind female doctor named Dr. Fadzlillah prepared an ultrasound scan for me. I need to lie down and some gel was applied on my tummy. She rolled a scanning devise on the tummy and a image appears on the screen attached to the scanning devise.

She smiled and pointed out a blinking image on the screen.
" It's the heartbeat. Congratulations!"

I turned to my husband and saw he cracked out a joyful smile on his face. The doctor printed out the ultrasound result image as our reference. After a few advices from her, we headed back home with a relief and satisfaction expression on our faces. We finally made it!! The printed image was crinkled all over as we scrutinized it a million times in the car. We were so excited! 

During our way back home, I took a deep look through out the window. I'm going to be a mother. We finally will build a family. I promise myself that I'll give the best to this baby. This is a responsibility and we will do the best for him/her. Oh, I can't wait!

That night, we performed a solat sunat syukur just to appreciate the gift that Allah has presented to us, evantually.

O Allah, thank you so much for this grand and precious gift. You're the Greatest and The Most Merciful. Syukur Ya Allah.